Tag: Journaling

Journal Entry – 1082017

Journal Entry – 1082017

I came across with old friends that I have not seen in a long time. The first person is Mo. I first met her in high school. We would take the bus together. For a long time we were really close friends, but gradually we grow a part as our lives changed. I came across an old massages from her that’s buried in Facebook messaging. I decided to message her and say hi. We talked about what is going on with our lives, and anything interesting that we did recently. I’m Hopping that Mo and I can stay in-touch and rekindle that friendship that we once had. Another person I came across is Meet D. He and I met though a meetup in the geek club south bay. Where the first time I met him is though a mini golfing event. I saw him last week at a board game event at Isle of Gamers and we talked about up’s going on with our lives and some of the games that were available. I was hopping that someone would bring the game Secret Hitler as it was a fun game. But, I got to play 7 Wonders with friendly people and that I came in third place! I went to Oktoberfest that was in my town. It was a lot of fun and the Sausages and beer were really good! I realized after a days later, a girl I met on the meetup event was flirting with me. I did not realize it at first. Initially, she sat across from me, then half way though the event, she came to next to me, talk to me, and when there was a song she wanted to dance, she would grab my hand to dance with her. It was flattering, but nothing become out of it. I also made a new friend at the event as well and I added him to my Facebook friends.

Recently, there has been a lot of racism, misogyny, and hate on the media. I was surprise to hear the same insane right-wing talking points that were not just from my country, but from other countries like Canada, UK, or Ireland and how there views where hateful and hurtful towards groups of people. I do not agree at all with their ideas and to some extent I feel that some of(if not all) of their talking points ought be censored as it seems to encourages violence. For example, I remember hearing that Gays, lesbians, LGBT, etc.. should be put into concentration camps. Or that, woman should not have the same rights as men or hold a political office. That’s insane! It really saddens and upsets me to know that there are people who think it’s a good idea to treat people in such a hurtful way. Personally I have a wonderful brother who is gay and wonderful girls in my life(my mom, female friends, etc..) that I adore. I still hope that humanity will take shape like in Star Trek, where people got along with kindness and understanding and enrich themselves not though wealth and greed, but though experience and knowledge.

I have started to clean the house; It’s a slow progress, but things are starting to look better now. There are still issues that I still need to tackle. For example, dusting, getting ride of old stuff that I do not use anymore, and getting the carpet shampoo. I’m starting to feel better about the house as it’s starting to look better now. I have started to exercise more often now. I am starting to walk an hour a day and all though it’s not consistent at what time I do walk, it feel like it has been helpful so far.

 

Journal Entry – 09152017

Journal Entry – 09152017

I’m sitting on the train on my way home thinking of what has happen since the last entry and how I got to this point where I am unhappy in general of my life. I know the parts of me feel broken inside, but I’m not exactly sure when it broke inside me, but I think it happen towards the end of my trip to Ireland. After coming back, I realized how unhappy and I need reboot(“kinda of like Flash Point, but more to do with me.”) in my life.

I think about what made me unhappy and the first thing that comes up is it started earlier in the year with my hearing. earlier this year I had a really bad fever to where it had effected my hearing. After going in an out for tests, I have been diagnose with Meniere’s disease. Mainly right now effects my right ear, But what does it mean to Meniere’s disease? I am learning that it affects me very personally and emotionally to the point of where I feel left out, alone, and that sometimes I want to withdraw myself from social settings. Granted it made me appreciate my ability to hear and made me focus on stuff that matter most me that in involves my hearing, the negative effects I’m struggling to deal with today. Several months ago I went out to a meetup event at a brewery on San Carlos. The brewery called Devil Canyon Brewing Company. It was fun, alive, and the beer was great! I got to met people in the group and share stories with them. In some cases I was not able to hear a person speak, because it was ether too loud, or they spoke to softly for me to hear. With is sad, because I felt like there was some lost opportunity to connect with someone or when someone tells a joke and everyone is laughing and I am not because I could not understand they said.

I feel that the house is a reflection of me. I looked around the home and I would feel sad at the fact that the place was dirty, unorganized, and stuff just piled up and even feel closterfobic at times. I remember when lived in SJ, my place was clean, neat, and organized. I felt happy and proud of myself because it felt that I was talking care of myself. I do realize now that I need to make my self a priority and give myself care and love. In addition, I do need to put myself first and take of my needs and wants. Although, maybe if I get into another relationship in the future, I hope to be someone’s number one as well.

To be continued……..

Journal Entry – 07022016

Journal Entry – 07022016

This week quite busy and it even bleed into the weekend. A couple of weeks ago, I installed a Velcro script with a rubber band underneath and strips of paper to help me with my bow hold and finger positioning on my cello. I have gotten used to having those things. I think for the Velcro I will keep it on the bow, but the strips of paper, I am thinking of removing it in the next few weeks to make me depend on my ears as I have been noticing that I have being depend on touch. I have happy that my playing has improved and reading sheet music with out the numbers has been becoming easier for me. Although, since next week is the start of my vacation and really practice playing my cello!

Cassie and I have been busy though this week, but we are able to spend time at night together and even talk about work, me finding a new job, or events that are happening in our lives. This weekend, I was hopping that she would come with me to play Magic The Gathering with Jim and Adrian, but she was not able to as she had to work. Although it was great see Kert and Kristy again! Cassie and I went to a BBQ with my friends in San Jose. It seems like my friends and Cassie got along well and we had a lot of fun! We all talked, ate, and laugh together!

Roopa’s BBQ Party

My project for this site is really coming together now, expectantly with wordpress. Ansible automation for the base configuration is coming along, and services are moving to a much better place. The articles on wordpress are coming together as well, and I will replace dokuwiki with wordpress. I feel a lot better using wordpress than dokuwiki as it never really satisfied my needs as wordpress does. I guess to some extent I am abie to personize it and make it more of my own that what I did with dokuwiki.

%d bloggers like this: